By Irma Abbasi
Freelance Writer

Dowry Is A Curse
جہیز ایک لعنت ہے
दहेज एक अभिशाप है

“If you think that educating your girl is enough for her to tackle the boundaries of tradition, then you are wrong. You have to ensure that not only you empower her with education, but also make her strong enough to resist the evils of societal pressure under which she often buckles. Her life and honour are far more important than “What will people say?” A little emotional support from the parents can make the life of a daughter abused by her in-laws beautiful.”

“In the commercialized world, marriage is monetized, the marital relationship is commoditized, and the abominable practice of dowry is institutionalized.”
“Dowry is not a tradition to be followed blindly, it’s a tradition to be eradicated.”
“Don’t make your daughter a commodity, empower her to be independent.”

Introduction:

The dowry system, deeply ingrained in cultural traditions, has long been a practice in Pakistan. Despite
being perceived as a symbol of love and financial support for newlyweds, the dowry system carries a
plethora of negative impacts on families and society at large. This article delves into the detrimental
effects of the dowry system in Pakistan, acknowledging it as a curse, particularly for economically
disadvantaged families, and suggests ways to alleviate its burdens.
Negative Impacts of the Dowry System:
1. Financial Strain: The practice of giving and receiving dowries can impose an immense financial
burden on the bride’s family. Families may feel compelled to provide expensive gifts and cash to
meet societal expectations, leading to financial strain and even debt.
2. Gender Inequality: The dowry system reinforces gender disparities, predominantly affecting the
bride’s family. This perpetuates the notion that women are financial liabilities and reinforces
unequal power dynamics within marriages.
3. Social Pressure: Societal expectations regarding dowries can create significant pressure on
families. The fear of social stigma and judgment can force families into extravagant spending, even
beyond their means, to conform to prevailing norms.
4. Marital Discord: The emphasis on material wealth as a precondition for marriage can lead to
strained relationships. In some cases, disputes over dowry matters have escalated to marital
discord, and in extreme cases, to domestic violence.
5. Economic Consequences: The dowry system can hinder economic progress by diverting resources
away from investments in education and career development for women. This perpetuates a cycle
of financial dependence and limits women’s opportunities for personal and professional growth.
The Unfortunate Consequence for the Economically Disadvantaged:
It is crucial to recognize that the dowry system, in essence, has become a curse for families with limited
financial means. Due to their inability to meet exorbitant dowry demands, many daughters and sisters
from impoverished families remain unmarried, facing societal prejudice and isolation. This exacerbates
the existing socio-economic challenges and underscores the urgent need to eradicate this detrimental
practice.

How to Eliminate the Dowry System?
1. Legal Measures: Strengthening and enforcing laws against dowry-related practices can serve as a
deterrent. Stricter legal consequences for those demanding or accepting dowries can help change
societal attitudes and discourage the perpetuation of this tradition.
2. Educational Campaigns: Raising awareness about the negative impacts of the dowry system
through educational campaigns is crucial. Promoting gender equality and encouraging families to
prioritize education and skills over material possessions can help shift societal values.

3. Community Engagement: Community leaders and influencers play a vital role in shaping societal
norms. Engaging them in conversations about the harmful effects of the dowry system and
encouraging them to promote alternative values can contribute to cultural change.
4. Financial Literacy Programs: Empowering families with financial literacy can help them make
informed decisions and resist societal pressures. Understanding the long-term economic
consequences of dowry practices may encourage families to prioritize sustainable financial
planning.
5. Support Networks: Establishing support networks for individuals facing dowry-related pressures
can provide a safety net. Counseling services, community groups, and helplines can offer
assistance and guidance to families navigating the challenges associated with the dowry system.
Conclusion:
The dowry system in Pakistan poses significant challenges to families and society, perpetuating financial
strain, gender inequality, and social pressures. Efforts to eliminate this practice require a multifaceted
approach, involving legal measures, education, community engagement, financial literacy programs, and
support networks. By collectively working towards cultural change, Pakistan can move towards a more
equitable and progressive society, free from the burdens imposed by the dowry system, acknowledging it
as a curse that particularly burdens economically disadvantaged families.

By Irma Abbasi
Freelance Writer

Dowry Is A Curse
جہیز ایک لعنت ہے
दहेज एक अभिशाप है

“Any young man, who makes dowry a condition to marriage, discredits his education and his country and dishonors womanhood.”
“Who chooses a wife based on the dowry, will have a painful life.
“Dowry is not a gift, it’s a curse in disguise.”
“True love doesn’t come with a price tag, refuse dowry.”
“Break the chains of dowry, let every woman be free.”
“Marriages should be based on love, not on monetary transactions.”
“Equal partnerships don’t require dowry, they require love and respect.”

Introduction:

The dowry system, deeply rooted in cultural traditions, has become a cause of concern in
various societies, notably in Pakistan and neighboring countries like India and Bangladesh. This age-old
practice involves the exchange of gifts or money from the bride’s family to the groom’s family upon
marriage. While seemingly innocent, the dowry system has evolved into a social menace, leading to severe
consequences for the less fortunate families involved.
1. Understanding Dowry: The dowry, traditionally intended to provide financial support to the
newlyweds, has transformed into a burdensome custom. In today’s context, it often takes the
form of excessive demands, putting immense pressure on the bride’s family.
2. The Perils for Poor Families: The dowry system exacerbates financial challenges for impoverished
families. Struggling to make ends meet, these families find themselves caught in a vicious cycle,
forced to take loans to meet exorbitant dowry demands. This financial strain becomes a significant
obstacle to the marriage of their daughters, leading to the unfortunate reality that some young
girls remain unmarried due to the lack of dowry.

3. Exploitation of Brides: As marriages unfold, the groom’s family frequently demands dowries
beyond the means of the bride’s family. This places an undue burden on the bride, and instances
of mental and physical abuse become prevalent, tarnishing the sanctity of the marital bond.
4. Impact on Mental Health: The repercussions of inadequate dowry or non-compliance with
unreasonable demandstake a toll on the mental health of brides. Constant taunts and abuse from
in-laws create an environment of fear and anxiety, leading to long-term psychological issues.
5. Societal Consequences: The dowry system perpetuates a cycle of financial instability and social
inequality. Families, unable to meet the escalating demands, are often unable to marry off their
daughters, contributing to a widening gap in society.
6. The Need for Awareness: To combat this deep-rooted issue, it is imperative to raise awareness
about the harmful impacts of the dowry system. Initiatives must be taken to educate communities
on the consequences of perpetuating this tradition.
7. Standing Against the Curse: Communities should unite to eradicate this curse from society.
Advocacy for legal reforms, counseling services, and support networks can help victims break free
from the clutches of the dowry system.
Conclusion: The dowry system, once a symbol of familial support, has transformed into a curse plaguing
societies in Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, and beyond. It is crucial to recognize the severe consequences
faced by impoverished families and brides alike. By standing against this deeply ingrained tradition and
fostering awareness, societies can work towards creating a future where marriages are based on love and
companionship rather than material exchanges. The acknowledgment that some young girls remain
unmarried due to the lack of dowry emphasizes the urgency of addressing this issue for the betterment
of society as a whole.

By Pervez Saleem
Sehrish Gul
Areeba Khan
Video: YouTube

Dowry Is A Curse
جہیز ایک لعنت ہے
दहेज एक अभिशाप है

Dowry: A Jahez is a social stigma. In spite of modernization and the increasing role of women in all walks of life, the practice of the dowry in India is becoming widespread, and the value of dowry is increasing. Now the dowry has become a great criterion in the marriages instead of a proper bride. If a bride’s family fails to pay the amount of dowry demanded by the prospective groom’s family, the bride will be cruelly treated by the in-laws, and in many cases will be burnt to death.

“No dowry, no marriage,” is a widespread fear in present day society. There has also been an emergence of a feudal mindset with a materialistic attitude in a new globalized economy. The price tag for the groom is now bigger and bolder. The emergence of an affluent middle class, the torchbearer of social change in modern India, is the main factor for the perpetuation of the dowry system.

Dowry system is a main problem in our society and it has disturbed and made disgrace to our society. Dowry system is the main culture system where parents of the bride give lumps of money, expensive gifts and jewellery to the bridegroom. The dowry has been done by many ordinary families in our society. The dowry is event is where there is a huge requirement the bridegroom get millions of rupees as a dowry from the bride’s family depending upon the qualifications and education the bridegroom we may believe that the person dealing with dowry is a bad person. So we should not ask for dowry. But still happens all over India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal and other South East Asian Countries. The bridegroom should not have any intention that he should take the dowry from the bride as this is a very negative side. Dowry is mainly to promise to give the money to her husband. The treatment of the husband his wife is very bad. Parent cannot give enough dowries to wife husband as much he needs. But the husband should not ask dowry to spoil the girl’s life. So the reason for spoiling the girl life should not be dowry .The gift which is given to the girl from her parents it just for their happiness. They should not force the girl to marry. The girl need support from her parents to live peacefully with her husband. So there should strict rules and regulations for against the dowry and serious action should be taken against the family who is doing…

Earlier presents were given to the bride as well bridegroom out of love. It was given voluntarily and there was no compulsion exercised. It was also given to assist the newly-wedded couple to set up and establishment of their own without much difficulty and to provide financial security in the adverse circumstances. But with the passage of time, these customs instead of proving help to the couple has virtually corrupted the institution of marriage itself. Now it has taken the frightening name of dowry and bridegrooms engage in unfair means such as force and coercion for obtaining the dowry. Even education has failed to suppress and curb this social evil of dowry; rather it has increased its practice. The modern educated classes are demanding such a heavy dowry that it has become impossible for parents to give their daughters in marriage. They want to recover every penny spent on their…

Apart from that, young women are also mistreated due to dowry. Dowry plays a major role in the wedding. Dowry is a traditional practice where the father of the bride gives a part of his properties to his daughter and son in law as the gift of the wedding. This practice turn to be a cruel action because if the bride’s family fail to give the dowry that demand by the bridegroom’s family, then the wedding will be cancel off. In some cases brides are tortured by their husband and in- laws after the marriage because the bride’s families failed to prepare the dowry that demanded by them.

Dowry; a curse for women
“Dowry is not only a curse; it is actually the mother of all evils in society.

Dowry/Jahez a dreadful and unethical practice. Nowadays dowry has become a part of wedding ceremonies. If we say that this is common thing among the illiterate or uneducated people, we will be wrong because educated people are also involved in this evil. Dowry is a social evil which affected our society very badly. It is the cause of our social and economic deterioration. The custom of dowry is the route of many evils. There is no religious concern with this practice, but majority of the people happily adopt it. The elite class to some extent is responsible for this tradition because, they give luxuries to their daughter that a poor man cannot afford. On the other hand, lower class of society has not enough to give dowry to their daughters. So, many of them take huge debts because of dowry. They spend the rest of their lives to pay their debts. Others do not hesitate to earn money by unfair means to meet the demand of dowry.

Although in reality it is a gift of money or property made by the husband to the wife which becomes her absolute property, in our society the dowry system is not only mandated for girls but also for boys. Today we fix dowry rates for boys of different categories doctors, engineers, lecturers, business men, etc. Merit of the girl is of no value. Parents find it difficult to select a boy, well-settled in life. On the other hand, the boy accepts that girl who belongs to a well-off family, highly educated in service and earns. He also wants a girl whose parents can give hefty dowry at the time of marriage. Pakistan has a mass of social problems to tackle today yet the biggest that the country is facing is dowry. This is one of the reasons the birth of a daughter in Pakistan is regarded as a burden.