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The Rise of Divorce – Marriage Bond Broken – By Dr. Ramsha Zafar

By Dr. Ramsha Zafar
Freelance Writer

The Rise Of Divorce in Pakistan
پاکستان میں طلاق کا عروج
पाकिस्तान में तलाक का बढ़ना
Marriage Bond Broken

Conflicts in a relationship are inevitable—some might make it work; on the other hand, others might choose to part ways. The same goes with marriage: It can be wonderful, but it can also be complicated, challenging, and even ugly, which leads to separation. At any given time along this path of change, you might be feeling scared, confused, angry, sad, and lonely. You might be feelinged-out, numb. And all those plucky words of chin-up encouragement, or flat-lining platitudes friends and family continue to proffer are falling on your deaf and numb and pained ears. Other times our reaction to another person’s words can take us by surprise. We might find ourselves struck by a truth we feel so deeply, so innately, that we could never express it in words.

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.” 

second marriage ihc

The Rise of Divorce in Pakistan 

More women in Pakistan are choosing to leave their marriages, despite divorce remaining a complicated social taboo in the country’s conservative culture. Women’s rights activists say the increase comes as women in the Islamic nation’s patriarchal society are becoming more empowered and are less willing to settle for abusive marriages. In Pakistan, divorce is not monitored by any dedicated agency and rules are dictated by Sharia or Islamic law.

More women are aware that they can leave marriages for reasons other than physical abuse, including psychological abuse or simply not getting anything” out of a marriage. Women know about their rights and are more independent.

In the South Asian country, a woman cannot “file for divorce” but rather has the right to dissolve a marriage under Sharia without the consent of her husband. This is called a “khula” and is arbitrated by a family court. There are several reasons for which a wife can seek a dissolution of marriage under khula. These include spousal abuse, the husband leaving or a husband’s mental health issues. Although official rates of women seeking to dissolve their marriages aren’t recorded, the number of khulas seems to be rising.

Pakistan’s marriage culture

In Pakistan, marriages by choice are called “love marriages.” However, arranged marriages are very common in the South Asian country. Couples signing a marriage contract before living together is also common.

Even though we were technically married for a year, we were still technically just dating because we still didn’t live together. It was only after living together that differences came out.

Marriage, in almost every culture, is considered a sacred bond between spouses and is a social and legal relationship. Indeed, the desire for strong and lasting family bonds remains a fundamental aspect of human nature, especially during times of uncertainty. However, navigating and sustaining these relationships has become increasingly challenging in the face of various external pressures and changing social dynamics. When these relationships break down, the consequences are far-reaching, extending beyond the immediate parties involved and affecting the broader fabric of society.

Divorce is an emotionally taxing life event that can induce symptoms of depression in both adults and children directly affected by it. In the context of Islamic marriage, when a man initiates the dissolution of marriage by uttering “talaaq” to his wife, it is termed as divorce. Conversely, when the termination of the marriage happens through mutual agreement between the husband and wife, typically at the request of the latter, it is known as “khulah.”

Is The Divorce Rate Increasing In Pakistan? Ft. Fatima Hussain EP 76 - YouTube

Divorce rates are witnessing escalations worldwide. In Pakistan, divorce is primarily governed by the Dissolution of Muslim Marriage Act 1939 (amended in 1961) and the Family Courts Act 1964. The divorce rate in the country has been gradually increasing, following global trends. Over one and a half years leading to June 2020, a total of 14,943 cases were filed, resulting in 4,752 divorces, affecting around 2,000 women and 2,100 children.

The rise of divorce in Pakistan is a multifaceted phenomenon influenced by various social, cultural, economic and legal factors. While divorce was traditionally stigmatized in Pakistani society, changing societal norms, increased urbanization, economic pressures, and evolving legal frameworks have contributed to a notable increase in divorce rates.

Free photo portrait of young girl sad for parents divorce

The rate of divorce tends to be higher in first marriages, partly due to factors related to attraction. Initially, couples in first marriages may be drawn together by romantic ideals or societal expectations. However, as the relationship progresses, differences in expectations, personalities, or goals may emerge, leading to disillusionment and conflict. This mismatch in attraction or compatibility can escalate over time, contributing to marital dissatisfaction and ultimately divorce. Additionally, individuals entering their first marriage may have limited experience in understanding their own needs and desires, leading to difficulties in maintaining long-term attraction and intimacy. Financial strain, lack of support networks, and unrealistic expectations further compound these challenges. Despite these trends, the dynamics of attraction are complex, and individual circumstances greatly influence marital outcomes.

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Factors Contribute Towards Divorce

Trust Deficit

A significant contributing factor to the rise in divorce rates in Pakistan is the lack of trust, particularly among the working class, where both husbands and wives work. Extended work hours at the office or on the job cause a minimal lack of trust, which manifests as infidelity (whether confirmed or not). Relationships cannot function without trust, which is the foundation of any successful partnership. The same holds for marriage-based relationships.

Forced Marriages

The most serious disadvantage of forced marriage is a divorce in which the girl or boy did not want to marry a certain individual but was coerced into it by their family. These forced marriages do not endure long. Either the guy or the girl has other interests, which overshadow everything else and hurt the marriage, leading to separation or divorce. Some individuals also think that love marriages result in more divorces than planned ones.

Illiteracy

Illiteracy is a significant factor contributing to divorce in Pakistan. Communication breakdowns, often stemming from limited literacy skills, hinder the effective expression of needs and resolution of conflicts within marriages. Illiterate individuals, particularly women, face restricted employment opportunities, leading to financial dependence and power imbalances that strain relationships. Traditional gender roles exacerbate inequalities, with women confined to caregiving roles and men expecting obedience. Conflict resolution skills, typically acquired through education, are lacking among illiterate individuals, escalating issues and eroding marital bonds over time.

Temperamental Incompatibility

Another significant reason for divorce in Pakistan is the presence of temperamental incompatibility, where couples have divergent interests, life perspectives, and beliefs, leading to disharmony in their lifestyles and mental compatibility, ultimately lacking mutual attraction.

Domestic violence

Extramarital Affair 

Extramarital relationships, which often stem from attraction to someone other than one’s spouse, introduce a significant strain on the marital relationship. The initial attraction to a new partner can lead to emotional and physical distance between spouses as attention and affection are diverted elsewhere. This diversion undermines the trust and intimacy that are crucial for a healthy marriage. The discovery or suspicion of infidelity often undermines the foundation of the marriage, leading to irreparable damage and the eventual breakdown of the relationship.

boyfriend cheat with best friend

Changing Societal Norms

Traditionally, Pakistani society upheld strong family values and emphasized the sanctity of marriage. However, with globalization and exposure to Western cultures through media and the internet, there has been a gradual shift in attitudes toward marriage and divorce. Younger generations are increasingly prioritizing individual happiness and personal fulfillment over familial obligations, leading to a more accepting attitude toward divorce.

Women Empowerment

Women in Pakistan are now more educated and economically independent than in previous generations. This empowerment has provided women with the confidence and means to seek divorce in situations of abuse, neglect, or unhappiness in marriage. Additionally, legal reforms have made it easier for women to initiate divorce proceedings and secure their rights in matrimonial disputes.

Urbanization and Migration

The rapid urbanization of Pakistan has led to significant social changes, including shifts in family structures and dynamics. Urban areas tend to be more cosmopolitan and liberal compared to rural regions, leading to greater acceptance of divorce as a viable option for individuals facing marital discord. Moreover, migration from rural to urban areas often exposes individuals to different value systems, contributing to the normalization of divorce.

Economic Pressures

Economic strain which includes unemployment, poverty, and financial instability can create immense stress within relationships, leading to dissatisfaction and conflict. Couples facing financial difficulties may find it challenging to maintain the level of attraction and intimacy necessary for a healthy marriage. Financial instability often exacerbates existing issues, as couples struggle to meet basic needs and fulfill their responsibilities. Moreover, the societal pressure to provide financially can strain traditional gender roles, leading to power imbalances and dissatisfaction within the relationship. Additionally, financial instability may hinder opportunities for couples to engage in activities that foster connection and romance, further eroding the attraction between partners and leading to irreconcilable differences and eventual separation.

A Pakistani Designer Got Called Out for His Anti-Dowry Bridal Couture

Dowry

Dowry, while traditionally perceived as a symbol of financial security and social status, often becomes a source of tension within marriages in Pakistan. The practice of dowry involves the transfer of wealth or assets from the bride’s family to the groom’s family, and its presence can influence the initial attraction between partners. In some cases, individuals may be drawn to prospective spouses based on the perceived value of the dowry, rather than genuine compatibility or affection. However, once married, conflicts related to dowry expectations and demands can arise, undermining the foundation of attraction and intimacy within the relationship. Financial pressures stemming from dowry obligations can strain the marital bond. Moreover, disputes over dowry payments can escalate into larger issues, fueling marital discord and contributing to the decision to divorce. Despite efforts to address dowry-related conflicts, its presence continues to challenge the stability of marriages in Pakistan, highlighting the need for cultural and legal reforms to mitigate its adverse effects on marital relationships and attraction between partners.

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Infertility

In a society where traditional gender roles and familial expectations are deeply ingrained, the inability to conceive can be especially distressing. Couples facing infertility often endure emotional turmoil, societal pressure, and familial scrutiny. In Pakistan, where parenthood is highly valued and considered a fundamental aspect of marriage, the inability to conceive can challenge cultural norms and expectations. The absence of children can also impact familial dynamics and inheritance rights, particularly in patriarchal societies. In many cases, the quest for parenthood can become all-consuming, overshadowing other aspects of the relationship and leading to increased marital discord. Despite medical advancements offering fertility treatments, the financial burden and emotional toll of such interventions may further exacerbate marital strain. Ultimately, if couples cannot navigate these challenges together or find mutual support and understanding, infertility can become an insurmountable obstacle, leading to the dissolution of the marriage.

No Male Child

In Pakistan, the preference for male children is deeply ingrained in cultural and societal norms, and the absence of a male child can significantly impact marriages, often leading to divorce. The desire for a male heir stems from cultural beliefs surrounding lineage, inheritance, and the perpetuation of the family name. When a couple fails to conceive a male child, it can lead to massive pressure and disappointment, particularly from extended family members who may view the situation as a failure on the part of the wife. Additionally, societal expectations place a heavy burden on women to bear sons, and their inability to fulfill this expectation can lead to feelings of inadequacy and stigma within the marriage. Moreover, without a male heir, couples may face challenges in securing their family’s social status and financial security, further exacerbating marital tensions. Ultimately, the societal pressure and emotional distress resulting from the absence of a male child can contribute to marital dissatisfaction and divorce, highlighting the entrenched gender biases and cultural pressures faced by couples in Pakistan.

Substance Abuse

Substance abuse is a significant contributor to the high divorce rate in Pakistan, manifesting in various forms such as alcoholism, drug addiction, and prescription drug misuse. Addiction can consume one’s thoughts, actions, and resources, leaving little room for fulfilling obligations to a spouse or family. The pursuit of obtaining and using substances often takes precedence over familial duties, leading to neglect, broken promises, and financial strain. As addiction progresses, individuals may become unreliable, unable to maintain employment, and prone to erratic behavior, further destabilizing their relationships and resulting in a toxic environment marked by distrust and communication breakdowns, all of which destroy the foundation of a marriage. Moreover, cultural stigmas surrounding addiction often deter individuals from seeking help, exacerbating marital issues. The cycle of substance abuse perpetuates a cycle of dysfunction within families, further exacerbating the divorce rate.

Religious Differences

In Pakistan, where religion plays a central role in both individual identity and societal norms, religious differences can be a potent reason for divorce. With Islam as the dominant faith, interfaith marriages often encounter profound challenges. These disparities extend beyond mere rituals or practices; they delve into fundamental beliefs, values, and cultural expectations. Families, deeply entrenched in religious traditions, may exert immense pressure on couples to either resolve their religious disparities or dissolve the marriage, fearing societal judgment or dishonor. Moreover, navigating the complexities of legal matters, such as inheritance and child custody, under Islamic law can exacerbate tensions stemming from religious differences.

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Legal Reforms

Changes in Pakistan’s legal framework, particularly in family laws, have made divorce more accessible and less stigmatized. Reforms such as the passage of the Family Courts Act and the introduction of alternative dispute resolution mechanisms aim to expedite divorce proceedings and provide equitable solutions for couples. Additionally, legal aid programs and women’s rights advocacy have empowered individuals, especially women, to assert their rights and seek legal recourse in cases of marital dissatisfaction or abuse.

Social Stigma Reduction

While divorce still carries some social stigma in Pakistani society, particularly for women, attitudes are gradually evolving. Increased awareness campaigns, media representation, and advocacy efforts have contributed to reducing the stigma associated with divorce. As a result, individuals may feel more comfortable seeking divorce as a solution to marital problems without fear of social exclusion.

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Social Media

Modern times have also seen social media impacting relationships. Unrealistic expectations are on the rise, as people strive for perfection in their partners, and this heightened demand can lead to dissatisfaction and eventually divorce.

Consequences of Divorce

The breakdown of family relationships can have profound ripple effects, impacting not only the aggrieved parties but also engulfing the entire society in several ways:

Disruption of Social Support Networks

Family units often serve as primary sources of emotional support, stability, and guidance. When relationships break down, individuals may lose this crucial support system, leaving them vulnerable to emotional distress, loneliness, and feelings of isolation. This disruption can extend to children, who rely heavily on familial support for their emotional and psychological development.

Economic Strain

Divorce or family breakdowns can lead to significant financial strain, particularly for individuals who are economically dependent on their partners. Legal fees, division of assets, and ongoing financial support obligations can exacerbate financial instability for both parties involved. This economic strain can have ripple effects on the broader economy, affecting consumer spending, housing markets, and social welfare systems.

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Impact on Children

Children often bear the brunt of familial discord and separation. Witnessing parental conflict or experiencing the dissolution of their parents’ relationship can have lasting psychological and emotional effects on children, including increased risk of anxiety, depression, academic difficulties, and behavioral problems. These effects can manifest well into adulthood, influencing future relationships and overall well-being.

Social Fabric and Community Cohesion

Strong family bonds contribute to the social fabric and cohesion of communities. When families experience breakdowns, it can lead to fragmentation within communities, eroding trust, and social capital. This breakdown of community cohesion can have implications for social stability, civic engagement, and collective resilience in the face of challenges.

Psychological Impact on Individuals

The breakdown of family relationships can have a profound psychological impact on individuals, leading to feelings of grief, loss, and identity crisis. Individuals may struggle to cope with the emotional fallout of divorce or separation, grappling with issues such as self-esteem, trust, and existential meaning. This psychological distress can hinder personal growth and hinder individuals’ ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

What I learned about marriage after getting divorced - DAWN.COM

Recommendations to address the rising divorce rate in Pakistan

Establishment of Marriage Counseling Institutes

Both government and private organizations should establish marriage counseling institutes to assist couples in managing psychological issues and resolving conflicts peacefully.

Stricter Divorce Laws

The government should consider revising divorce laws to discourage divorce over trivial matters, promoting reconciliation and communication between spouses.

Education on Marriage

Integrate a comprehensive chapter on marriage into the curriculum at the intermediate level, educating students on Islamic principles of marriage and the rights and responsibilities of spouses, aiming to foster positive attitudes towards marriage.

Economic Empowerment of Women

Provide opportunities for women to generate income from home through online work, particularly in households facing financial challenges. Both private and government sectors can support such initiatives, empowering women economically and reducing marital conflicts arising from financial stress.

Minimize In-Law Interference

Encourage in-laws to refrain from interfering in the affairs of married couples, as such interference often leads to misunderstandings and eventual separation. Promoting boundaries and respect within extended families can help preserve marital harmony.

Implementing these measures can contribute to strengthening marriages, reducing divorce rates, and fostering healthier family dynamics in Pakistan.

Conclusion

The rising divorce rates in Pakistan underscore the need for greater awareness, support, and intervention to address underlying issues within marriages. While divorce may offer a solution in certain circumstances, its repercussions extend far beyond the couple involved, impacting individuals, families, and society at large. By promoting understanding, empathy, and proactive measures, Pakistani society can strive towards fostering stronger familial bonds by Islamic teachings.

Additionally, gender inequality and domestic violence are deeply concerning issues contributing to divorce rates. Women face unequal treatment within their marriages and families, and some even endure domestic violence, which tragically leads to separation and divorce.

To address this rising trend, it’s essential to prioritize understanding and respect before entering into marriage. True love should be based on genuine understanding, not just fleeting attraction. Respecting each other’s aspirations, dreams, and opinions is paramount in maintaining a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

By Dr. Ramsha Zafar Freelance Writer The Rise Of Divorce in Pakistan پاکستان میں طلاق کا عروج पाकिस्तान में तलाक का बढ़ना Marriage Bond Broken Conflicts in a relationship are inevitable—some might make it work; on the other hand, others might choose to part ways. The same goes with marriage: It can be wonderful, but it can also be complicated, challenging, and even ugly, which leads to separation. At any given time along this path of change, you might be feeling scared, confused, angry, sad, and lonely. You might be feelinged-out, numb. And all those plucky words of chin-up encouragement, or flat-lining platitudes friends and family continue to proffer are falling on your deaf and numb and pained ears. Other times our reaction to another
The Rise Of Divorce – Marriage Bond Broken

Irma Abbasi
Freelance Writer
Pervez Saleem

The Rise Of Divorce
طلاق کا عروج
तलाक का उदय

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many time, always with the same person.”
“You don’t marry the person you can live with – you marry the person you can’t live without.”
“True love is selfless. It is prepared to sacrifice.”

Marriage:
Marriage is defined differently, and by separate entities, based on cultural, religious, and personal factors. A commonly accepted and encompassing definition of marriage is a formal union and social and legal contract between two individuals that legally, economically, and emotionally unites their lives. The contractual marriage agreement usually implies that the couple has legal obligations to each other throughout their lives or until they decide to divorce.

Why marriage is important:
Marriage is much more than a civil contract with legal benefits. Marriage is an essential part of God’s plan.

Marriage is a relationship:
Marriage is an eternal concept. It is meant to be a loving, intimate, selfless relationship between a man and a woman that lasts through eternity. As a spouse, you are expected to essentially lay down your old life and to sacrifice many of your personal desires for your closest friend-your husband or wife. The more you are able to put your spouse first and keep your focus on the success of your partnership, the stronger your marriage will be. Most marriages are founded on love-but it’s choosing to maintain and grow that love that can be the challenge. That’s where commitment comes in. God Almighty considers to be an agreement between a husband and a wife as well as a commitment between the couple and Him. He expects us to dedicate ourselves to the relationship, and to recognize our responsibilities, duties, and loyalties both to our spouse and to God Almighty because “Rishte Aasman Per Bante Hain”, this means God instituted the husband-wife relationship as an equal.

Marriage should mean letting go of selfishness.
Marriage is the joining of two people, therefore it goes without saying that there will need to be some level of compromise. Once you get married there is no more ‘I’, it’s all about ‘we’. As a single person you may have been able do do whatever you fancied, to come and go as you pleased, but once you are married, there is another person you need to take into consideration. You need to think about what makes them happy and use this when you are making plans. The best marriages are often those where both partners are wholly committed to making their other half happy. In a marriage, often this is a priority and by letting go of selfishness and prioritizing your partner you can truly get the best out of a marriage.
Marriage means two become one:
Sticking with the theme of two people becoming one, marriage means blending two lives into one. The philosophy behind two people becoming one extends far beyond the physical. It should also touch the emotional, spiritual and psychological parts of your relationship. This does not mean that you need to lose your identity, on the the contrary you will gain more of an identity, changing and complimenting your partner.

Marriage is the chance to shape a new generation:
Marriage is an amazing way to bring children into a secure and stable environment. Couples tend to thrive in the challenge of teaching their children to become amazing individuals who will benefit society. Child rearing can put strains on a marriage, but it can also make it stronger. After all, is there any challenge fulfilling than raising children?  Priorities change throughout marriages but ensuring that your partner is at the top of hat list will enable you to overcome anything life throws at you.

Marriage means changing and growing as people:
When you agree to share your life with somebody, you acknowledge that there will be bumps in the road that will change you along the way. By making the most of these bumps and using them to enable you to grow together, your marriage will become stronger. You can enjoy the changing seasons of marriage, holding hands through all of life’s hurdles. The true meaning of marriage of many is that you grow together, and the marriage also grows and blossoms too.

Warning Signs That Your Marriage is in Trouble:
Relationships are like little growing plants, we need to water them every day, treat them carefully, and keep a close eye on what works and what doesn’t. One of the things that will always help a relationship to thrive is trust, the ability to trust each other and to have the liberty of being able to communicate openly in your relationship is key to solving any difficulty that may arise. The better the communication in your relationship, the more it will thrive. However, being communicative is not the only big key for a relationship to work. Being a good listener, and understanding your partner’s needs is just as important as being communicative and trustworthy in a relationship.

Marital problems stem from poor communication, lack of intimacy, money problems, and growing apart as life takes different twists and turns. If you realize that your marriage is hitting a rough patch, but both you and your spouse are willing to make some necessary changes, you can resolve almost any source of tension.

Watch out these warning signs before it’s too late:
1- You criticize more than you compliment
2- You can’t remember the last time you intimate
3- You d0n’t argue anymore
4- You avoid spending quality time together
5- The majority of the household’s work is done by one person
6- There is someone withholding secrets
7- You don’t respect each other’s privacy
8- Your friends see problems in your marriage
9- You lie about or hiding money issues
10- You daydream having an affair
11- You always feel stressed about your marriage
12- Your spouse isn’t the first person you call
13- You are not ready to take big step in your marriage
14- You feel lonely all the time
15- You ignored red flags (warning signs)
16- You use abusive language
17- You are agitated and enraged all the time
18- You forget each other’s birthdays and don’t exchange gifts
19- Drugs or alcohol problems
20- Publicly embarrassing and insulting
21- You don’t look forward to coming home
22- A spouse who threaten divorce on a regular basis|

Rising Divorce Rates in Pakistan: Changes in Society Over Time
According to recent statistics, the divorce rate in Pakistan has been increasing over the past few years. There are several factors that are believed to be contributing to this trend. Some of the most commonly cited reasons include:

  • Economic pressures: With the high cost of living and increasing economic pressures, many couples are finding it difficult to make ends meet. This can lead to financial stress and strain on the relationship.
  • Social norms: In Pakistan, there are strong social norms that can make it difficult for couples to openly discuss and address problems in their relationships. This can lead to feelings of isolation and dissatisfaction.
  • Changing attitudes towards marriage: As attitudes towards marriage are changing, more and more people are choosing to marry later in life or not at all. This can lead to increased expectations and a higher likelihood of divorce.
  • Lack of support: Many couples in Pakistan lack access to support systems and resources that can help them navigate the challenges of marriage and parenting. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a lack of support when problems arise.
  • The increasing influence of social media platforms such as TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and messaging apps is believed to be contributing to the trend.

It’s worth noting that these are just some of the factors that are believed to be contributing to the high divorce rate in Pakistan. Ultimately, the reasons for divorce are complex and multifaceted, and there is no easy solution to the problem.

If you were born in the 80s and 90s in Pakistan. You will still be able to re-live the vibrance and festivity we all once experienced attending the wedding ceremonies of our near and dear ones. Weddings were one of the most sought-after events in every household. Every middle-class house will work on it for years before the event happened. Society then was integrated and normal — before we went into wars against terrorism and sheer political polarization.

Time went past. We entered the new millennium and two decades after that our society took the form we could never have imagined back then. Amid roaring terrorism, religious fanaticism, and insane political polarization — our society continued to degenerate both — economically and socially.

The crumbling economy, pandemic, and rising inflation took a toll on the psychological health of the people, hampering their social and personal lives.

A recent survey by Gallup and Gilani Pakistan has revealed that the divorce rate in Pakistan is at an all-time high. The study found that the primary reason for divorce was lack of commitment, closely followed by infidelity and conflict in the family. It is a ripe time that we let our marital affairs be handled by specialists in counseling and psychological and conflict managers than elders who have no clue what is happening around us and mostly end up ruining the matter than solving it.

This trend if left unchecked will result in further eroding the family fabric in the society; leaving children to suffer.

The breakdown of marriages is often further compounded by additional factors, such as
misunderstandings and the emergence of extramarital affairs. A closer look at this phenomenon
reveals a complex interplay of cultural, social, and psychological factors.
1. Norms of Authority: In a society where traditional gender roles often grant men authority over
family matters, the imbalance of power can strain relationships. The expectations placed on men
as decision-makers may lead to conflicts and a lack of emotional connection.

2. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary culprits behind the rising divorce rates is the
breakdown in communication between life partners. The inability to express feelings, needs, and
concerns can create a widening emotional gap, fostering resentment and misunderstanding.
3. Lack of Commitment: Modern challenges, coupled with changing societal dynamics, have
brought about a decline in the commitment level within marriages. Factors such as career
aspirations, personal pursuits, and evolving individual identities contribute to the diminishing
sense of commitment.
4. Misunderstandings: A crucial aspect contributing to the strain in marital relationships is the
prevalence of misunderstandings. Lack of clarity or misinterpretation of each other’s intentions
and actions can lead to frustration and, over time, contribute to the deterioration of the marital
bond.
5. Extramarital Affairs: Another significant challenge arises with the occurrence of extramarital
affairs. When there is a lack of interest or emotional fulfillment within the marriage, individuals
might seek solace or connection outside the relationship. Infidelity, in turn, can become a catalyst
for the dissolution of marital ties, introducing a complex layer of emotional turmoil and betrayal.
6. Absence of Respect: Respect forms the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, but the
erosion of mutual respect between spouses is a common factor in divorces. The absence of
acknowledgment and appreciation for each other’s roles can lead to feelings of undervaluation.
7. Lack of Encouragement: In many cases, the lack of encouragement and support from husbands
towards their wives’ personal and professional aspirations can create an environment of
dissatisfaction. The failure to nurture individual growth within the marriage can strain the bond.
Impact of divorce on Children:
Divorce is a stressful life event that causes symptoms of depression in both adults and children
that are directly involved. Social activists say children of the affected families have to face the
worst problems because of the trend. Children often bear the brunt of divorces, experiencing
emotional upheaval and insecurity. The disruption in their stable family life can impact their
psychological well-being, academic performance, and future relationships.

Impact of divorce on Children:
In today’s world, divorce is widely recognized as the second greatest hardship and cause of pain for adults, second only to the loss of a child.

There are many reasons why people separate or divorce. But, whatever the reasons are, one thing is for sure: children don’t cause or choose divorce or separation. Children flourish in warm, supportive, and stable environments where both parents are emotionally, physically and financially responsible for them. Therefore, divorce or separation can be difficult for children to cope with. For children, trying to understand why their parents are getting a divorce, who they will live with, the school they will attend, or if the divorce of their parents is because of them (etc.), can leave them emotionally unbalanced. With divorce having such a devastating impact on fully grown, psychologically mature adults, can you imagine what impact it has on children, who have zero skills for coping with gut-wrenching emotions and attachments? You know your kids better than anyone else. How are they going to handle the strain and turmoil their parents are going to find themselves in; or handle the fact that their whole world is breaking apart? Think of all the changes they will have to contend with. It’s a good idea to imagine the worst-case scenario as that will be most accurate.
Divorce is a stressful life event that causes symptoms of depression in both adults and children
that are directly involved. Social activists say children of the affected families have to face the
worst problems because of the trend. Children often bear the brunt of divorces, experiencing
emotional upheaval and insecurity. The disruption in their stable family life can impact their
psychological well-being, academic performance, and future relationships.

Here are some key impacts:
1. Emotional Distress: Children often experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anxiety,
and confusion. The upheaval caused by divorce can be emotionally challenging for them as they
grapple with the changes in their family structure.
2. Behavioral Changes: Some children may exhibit changes in behavior, such as acting out,
becoming withdrawn, or developing aggression. These behavioral shifts can be a manifestation
of their difficulty in coping with the emotional turmoil.
3- Poor Performance in Academics
Divorce is difficult for all members of the family. For children, trying to understand the changing dynamics of the family may leave them distracted and confused. This interruption in their daily focus can mean one of the effects of divorce on children would be seen in their academic performance. The more distracted children are, the more likely they are to not be able to focus on their school work.
4- Loss of Interest in Social Activity
Research has suggested divorce can affect children socially, as well. Children whose family is going through divorce may have a harder time relating to others, and tend to have less social contacts. Sometimes children feel insecure and wonder if their family is the only family that has gotten divorced.
5- Difficulty Adapting to Change
Through divorce, children can be affected by having to learn to adapt to change more often and more frequently. New family dynamics, new house or living situation, schools, friends, and more, may all have an effect.
6- Anger/Irritability
In some cases, where children feel overwhelmed and do not know how to respond to the affects they feel during divorce, they may become angry or irritable. Their anger may be directed at a wide range of perceived causes. Children processing divorce may display anger at their parents, themselves, their friends, and others. While for many children this anger dissipates after several weeks, if it persists, it is important to be aware that this may be a lingering effect of the divorce on children.
7- Feelings of Guilt
Children often wonder why a divorce is happening in their family. They will look for reasons, wondering if their parents no longer love each other, or if they have done something wrong. These feelings of guilt are a very common effect of divorce on children, but also one which can lead to many other issues. Guilt increases pressure, can lead to depression, stress, and other health problems. Providing context and counseling for a child to understand their role in a divorce can help reduce these feelings of guilt.
8- Introduction of Destructive Behavior
While children go through a divorce, unresolved conflict may lead to future unexpected risks. Research has shown children who have experienced divorce in the previous 20 years were more likely to participate in crimes, rebelling through destructive behavior which harms a child’s health, with more children reporting they have acquired smoking habits, or prescription drug use.
9- Increase in Health Problems
The process of divorce and its effects on children can be a stressful. Dealing with these issues can take its toll, including physical problems. Children who have experienced divorce have a higher perceptibility to sickness, which can stem from many factors, including their difficulty going to sleep. Also, signs of depression can appear, exacerbating these feelings of loss of well-being, and deteriorating health signs.
10- Loss of Faith in Marriage and Family Unit
Finally, despite hoping to have stable relationships themselves when they grow up, research has also shown children who have experienced divorce are more likely to divorce when in their own relationships. Some research indicates this propensity to divorce may be two to three times as high as children who come from non-divorced families.

Yet, while these are some of the possible effects of divorce on children, they are by no means absolutes, or written in stone. More and more, families understand just how stressful divorce is for their children, as well as their selves. Families have begun to turn to supportive services such as at FamilyMeans, seeking help to find a peaceful way to divorce. Through our Collaborative Divorce program, we are helping families more successfully navigate this transition, both for the sake of the parents, and for the children involved.

Parents at War
When their mother and father are in enemy camps, a child has to try to figure out who is right and who is wrong, who is “good” and who is “bad.” If a mother believes, for example, that her ex-husband is dangerous or evil, a child might feel unsafe and mistrustful of his father. The child might reject the father to keep himself and his mother psychologically safe. It can be hard for a child to love and trust a parent who is hated by the other.
An important message for parents after marital breakdown is to try to preserve, as much as possible, the ongoing relationship with your ex—who will always, for better and for worse, be your children’s other parent. For the sake of your children, try to co-parent together in a constructive, cooperative, and respectful way.

Irma Abbasi Freelance Writer Pervez Saleem The Rise Of Divorce طلاق کا عروج तलाक का उदय “A successful marriage requires falling in love many time, always with the same person.” “You don’t marry the person you can live with – you marry the person you can’t live without.” “True love is selfless. It is prepared to sacrifice.” Marriage: Marriage is defined differently, and by separate entities, based on cultural, religious, and personal factors. A commonly accepted and encompassing definition of marriage is a formal union and social and legal contract between two individuals that legally, economically, and emotionally unites their lives. The contractual marriage agreement usually implies that the couple has legal obligations to each other throughout their lives or until they decide to

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